I recently was talking to my husband about the changes I am seeing in my body. He looked at me and said that he doesn’t see too much difference in my arms but he can see a huge difference in my belly. A few days later I recounted the incident to a friend. She told me I am brave for wearing a tank top. She never wears them because she hates her arms.
That really got me thinking. At my heaviest, there was no way I could ever cover up how fat I was. I am still quite large. And even now, no matter what I am wearing, it is pretty obvious that I am a fat woman. So what difference does it make if I wear a tank top or not?
I have noticed that I am particularly sensitive to short daylight hours. The longer the nights and the less time I get out in the sun the more my depression is able to take hold in my thought processes. Knowing this about myself I think it is very important to get as much exposure to the sun as I can. Weather permitting, I prefer to walk and hike in a tank top to get as much sunlight on my arms and chest as possible.
I don’t consider myself brave for being realistic about my body. I know how I look. And I don’t see the point in hiding who I am behind clothes in the hopes of hiding how big I am. I am here. I take up space. And I get my butt up the hills, even with all the extra fat I am carrying around.
Huh. Maybe I am pretty brave after all. 🙂